Sunday, August 29, 2010

Heimdall's Hornies 2, Ungoroth 1


VBN (Valhalla Broadcast Network)

Heimdall's Hornies 2, Ungoroth 1

Figure 1: The scrum

Hornies kick off to the orcs to start the match.  The orcs began with an onslaught that left Hornie line person, Freyja under the care of the apothecaries and the line laid back on their collective rumps.  Orc thrower, Kastanamir picked up the ball and tossed it to a blitzer on the left sideline who moved into the center of the field behind the orc line.  The Norse responded in mass, surrounding the ball carrier.  After a mighty scrum Hogun puts the blitzer down, knocking the ball free.  Frigg picks up the ball and scoots around the formation handing off to Loki who sprinted down the field tripping himself up as he attempted to practice his pornographic touchdown dance dropping the ball. 

Figure Two: Loki loses his footing attempting an early celebration

Loki recovers himself, picks up the ball and again moves towards the endzone again tripping himself as he attempted his dance moves.  This time, he ended up stunning himself and the ball bounced into an exuberant crowd who tossed it back onto the pitch.  A mad scramble for the ball ensued.  Kastanamir picked up the ball and as he tries to leave the scrum he trips himself, losing the ball.  Baldur the Brave, who had spent the last few minutes cowering in front of a Black Orc, made a break for the ball, picked it up and winged it to Loki who is again standing in the end zone.  Happily Loki was able to complete his touch down dance with the Hornies up 1-0.

Figure Three: Loki again loses his footing

As the clock had wound down most of the way the Hornies set up in the prevent defense and kicked off to the orcs, placing the ball just behind the main orc line.  The orcs took the opportunity to assault as many Hornies as possible as time ran out on the half.

The orcs lined up to kick off for the second half, sending the ball deep left.  Frigg recovered the ball as the line made a bit of room for her to run through.  Instead she reversed her field and took off to the right, bobbling a hand off along the right corner.  Luckily Weth was able to catch the ball as it bounced about.  She had no time to celebrate however as she came face to face with the business end of an orc blitzer - a massive scrum of course ensued.  Hel crossed the field and grabbed the ball as Loki went deep.  The action was interrupted as lineorc Snobbler was given a red card as he either tried to fowl the Hornies Yeti, Jormangandr or mate with her.  No one seems to be clear which it was.  As play resumed Frigg tossed the ball to a wide open Loki who sauntered in for the touch down and a resumption of his x-rated dance, this time with a young halfling lass who was in the crowd.  The authorities report that as soon as she is out of traction she should be able to walk again.  The Hornies were then up 2-0.

The Norse lined up to kick off again playing a deep defense designed to slow the orc advance.  The ball is kicked deep as fans from both teams stream onto the field beating the poor referee to death.  It appears that Snobbler had a few fans or at least family in the crowd.  The ball was picked up by an orc thrower who tossed a wobbly throw to the other thrower who was unable to handle the knuckleball.  Meanwhile on the line, a Black Orc continued the assault on Jormangandr, knocking her out, if not up.  The orcs again grab the ball, tossing it to blitzer Moe Bergman who waltzes in to make it Hornies 2, Ungoroth 1.



The final kickoff has the orcs kicking deep to the Norse left and Balder finding the ball too slick to handle.  Eventually, he was able to pick the ball up and heft it down field to Valstagg who caught the ball.  Valstagg, a lineman, had quite a match putting a number of Black Orcs on their cans and withstanding a number of charging beasts.  As time ran out he hit the ground as the orcs converged on him but while the ball was on the ground, time had ran out and the team joined Loki in a celebration dance. 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Heimdall's Hornies Open Their Run n the Rifleman Blood Bowl League With a Win

The Hornies kicked off to begin the game and the Black Widows took the ball up the left sideline.  On the line, Ophelia, the elf assassin, knives Jormungandr, the Hornie Yeti, knocking her out.  Balder blitzes the ball carrier, Guinevere, putting her out for this game and the next while Weth grabbed the ball and headed towards Valhalla (the end zone for the non-Norse among our readers).  She was caught from behind but the ball was recovered by Loki and taken in to put Heimdall's Hornies up 1-0.



Jormungandr managed to come around for the ensuing kickoff as the elves went on a casualty spree along the line sending two line persons to the injured box and stunning the much abused Jormungandr.  The elves fumbled the ball as they attempted to dodge away from several Norse players and the ball was picked up by Loki who handed off to Hel who ran in for a touchdown putting the Hornies up 2-0.


Figure One: An early view of the scrum

The second half kickoff was taken by Balder who was blitzed by a Witch Elf  who recovered the ball and thereafter ensued a comedic sequence where players from each team would grab the ball only to see themselves thrown to the ground and the ball bounce away.  Finally, Balder recovers the ball and sprints down field to his teammates, Freyja and Hel.  As he nears them he trips and falls and again the ball is on the ground.  Elf assassin, Ophelia sprints in to disrupt the play and finds herself face to fist with Freyja who delivered a killing blow to the assassin that had so troubled poor Jormungandr.  As the whistle was preparing to blow, Hel grabbed the ball and ran into the end zone guarded by Freyja.

Figure Two: Hel scores while being guarded by Freyja

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wednesday Night Magic

Nick, Jeff, Harold and myself were in attendance at this week's magic game.  This was a session for the record books since not only did we play three games rather swiftly but Nick came out on top in all three games.  The first game was a free-for-all that may have been the quickest multi-player game that we have ever had due to Harold's immediate playing of "Black Vise."  Afterwards we played two, two-headed giant games with Nick and I winning the first and he and Harold the second.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Lucky Scales Lose Again but Show Signs of Life

The Lucky Scales fell to 0-2 against the Skaven Trap Snappers of DwayneJ.  The game was much closer than the 3-1 score would indicate with the Scales moving into scoring position several times only to have the Gutter Runners of the Trap Snappers interfere with the drive.

Newly acquired skink runner, Kai of Gold scored the lone Scale TD and showed a knack for putting his claws on the ball.  Two sauri blockers, Kailizh and Uta of the Moon had casualties in the game while sauri, Goq of Huatl was named the MVP and picked up his second skill, Guard.

I have high hopes for the Scales after this match as they have now played two of the better teams in the league and they are beginning to rebuild after last season's collapse.

Report on game from the Fun League Blog http://orcshallconference.wordpress.com/2010/05/16/trap-snappers-3-1-luck-scales/.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Saturday Boardgames

My eldest, Shari, and her fiance, Ernest stopped by last night to play a few boardgames with Lissa and I.  We brought out three of the games that we had picked up at Origins.  We played Carcassonne, Hey, That's My Fish, and Station Master.  I had a run of luck and won all three games - a result not likely to repeat.  Good fun!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

FungusLiga West Restarts - Lucky Scales Battered by Great Green Gloopers

The FungusLiga West was forced to restart due to a few unreliable teams.  The Scales found themselves up against orabbi's Great Green Gloopers, an orc team with the highest ranking in the League (the Scales of course are bringing up the rear).

Things went bad for the Scales from the beginning.  The Gloopers took the opening kickoff and began beating on the poor lizards, reducing the on-field group to two rather confused Sauri.  With Scaly resistance at such a low state the Gloopers scored on turn eight.

The Scales took the opening kickoff of the first half up the right sideline and scored rather quickly tying the game at one all.  The ensuing kickoff played out very much like the previous one and the Gloopers methodically beat up the Scales until scoring on turn fifteen.  All in all the Scales suffered two dead, six casualties, and five knock outs.  Adding insult to injury the XP for the game were largely garnered by the mercenary players the Scales were forced to hire in order to field a team with the Star Player Saurus Silibili being named the team MVP and a mercenary skink scoring the Scales' lone touchdown.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Lucky Scales Pull One Out Against the Dark Elves now 1-2-1

The Lucky Scales pull out the win against Psyper's Shadows of Darkness Dark Elf team.  The game began with the Scales kicking off to the Elves.  The Lizards put up a strong defense holding off the Elves and at one point coming within a hair of scoring with a loose ball.  The second half kickoff went out of bounds and the ball was given to the Saurus Goq of Huatl who held onto the ball for most of the half until late in the game he saw an opening and darted to the left scoring late in the game.  The elves took the ensuing kickoff and attempted a last second pass but the ball fell incomplete and the Scales added their first win of the season!