HNN (Herpetelogical News Network)
This is Sal E. Mander reporting from the scene of the multiple crimes against Lizard kind. There is little to cheer about today as Og the Beautiful and his Lucky Scales were beaten to a Chaotic Pulp by MowWar and his Glove Slap henchmen. There are some degenerates in the crowd who will tell you that it was simply an excellent example of the Chaos style of Blood Bowl but I tell you those folks have been known to bugger small forest creatures whilst talking to their Mothers on cell phones, whatever that is.
Suffice it to say that by the end of the match the score was 2-0 and six brave lizards were out of the game. Serious injuries befell Team Captain and Star Skink, Uldalashi who, the apothecaries tell me will never be able to run as fast as he used to due to a severely smashed hip and the Lizard in the Mizard, Krokquetli the Kroxigor himself who took a thumb to the eye socket and will be out the next match.
Congrats go out to MowWar and his horde. It must be said that he showed admirable sportsmanship, coming over and offering a Lucky Scales fan's hand to Og after the game. Og tried to explain the concept of offering to shake with your own hand but gave up and went for a nice facial and massage after the stress of seeing so much lizard blood nearly overwhelmed him.