Thursday, March 17, 2011

Grundle Luven 1-1 Lucky Scales

Herpetological News Network (HNN)

This is Sal E. Mander reporting for HNN. Today we saw a brutal match on the pitch between hometown favorites, the Lucky Scales, and a group of violent ex-con dwarves known as the Grundle Luven. Before the game ended seven brave lizards would be under the care of the docs and several others would be unconscious.

The game began with the Scales calling, you guessed it, tails, and kicking off to the Luven. The Scales employed what must have been a clever new idea in that somehow they began the game with 12 players on the pitch. Given the brutal treatment they received from the group of psychopathic dwarves across the pitch they should have placed 13 on the field. The ball was picked up by the dwarf runner who crossed midfield with the ball before being blasted by Jacque de Shock, a Brettonian Wizard hired by the Scales for this match. The dwarf runner was of course uninjured as he has apparently had a steady dose of shock therapy in the asylum where the Luven hired him.

At that point the skink runner, Kai of Gold darted in and grabbed the ball, handing off to fellow skink Munditeu-hi. After some desperate dodging the Scales took the ball up the left side of the field and Xah of Despair tossed the ball to Tza-oatlit as time expired in the first half as the Scales went up 1-0.

The Scales lined up to receive the kickoff to start the second half several players down as they became the victims of what in any other setting would have been termed felonious assaults. Kai of Gold grabbed the ball and jockeyed for position and a likely path up the field. The drive fell apart when Kai of Gold's pass was bobbled and dropped by Uldahex, turning the ball over.

The brutality on the field continued as Scale after Scale found their way into the doc's box. The Luven recovered the ball and ground their way up the field largely unhampered by the Scales who had few players still on the pitch. Despite two valient attempts by Skink defender, Boqkroxqai to tackle the short hairy creature carrying the ball, the Luven were able to cross the goal line, tying the game and leading to the second game in a row that ended in a bout of coach Og the Beautiful kissing his lovely sister, Oggina.

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